By Jesse Dethero

After being made fun of and seeking validation for my pale complexion for years, I was surprised to receive it in abundance after arriving in India. From our first minutes in the country, I was asked for numerous pictures, and had people point towards my skin and repeat the words “pretty” and “beautiful. At first, I enjoyed this attention but as I opened my eyes to this place it somehow felt unfulfilling and almost shallow past the slight confidence boost.

After some thinking, I was upset that skin tone was a determining factor in what “beauty” is. What frustrated me even more so was that when I returned the gesture and complimented one of my Agora host family member’s darker complexions she shook her head saying “bleach” and contorted her face in a way that clearly displayed her dislike for her own skin tone, one shared by billions of people across India and other areas of the world. Experiencing this forceful and unexpected sense of skin as a determining factor of beauty had me wondering what the causes for such a huge population to envy a skin tone. Across the world in America, generally all colors are celebrated in my personal context. Was it our “exoticism” here that made being pale seem idealized or merely a facet of western influence? Paying close attention to advertisements and models pasted on cookie wrappers and such, I didn’t see a superfluous amount of Caucasian representation though it did rear its head here and there. Even with some evidence and ideas, the reason why Indians continue to bleach their skin and dye their hair continues to be an unanswered lingering question on my mind.

What frustrated me most of all as I thought about beauty here was that when looking around Agora and its surrounding valley there was no shortage of beauty. I’m not even sure the residents realized, noticed, or even defined this picturesque context as beauty as it is their norm. There is no doubt that the striking people of Agora could be deemed beautiful by universal and my biased western standards, but skin tone was such a dominant factor in defining “beauty” in the conversations and interactions I had that true beauty the kind that surpasses the confinements of human complexion, were neglected.

I’d like to share the less recognized side of beauty I observed during my time in Agora, often shadowed by our infatuations with appearance.

From the traditional and simple kitchens where meals are cooked and eaten sitting on the floor using a single stone stove and a fire with homegrown ingredients to the relationships with animals; the gujjars and the shepherds; the use of mules for heavylifting, and the sacred relationships with cows that forms a peaceful coexistence with them whether domestic or free-roaming. I felt beauty in the food scraps are left out for “India’s dogs,” a term coined by Suman when he was asked who the strays belonged to with the majority of the village caring for the same dogs collectively. I find the animals themselves to be exceptionally beautiful. The dogs and their playfulness, the cows and their peacefulness/mindlessness, the birds and their trills and songs, and even the mischievous, slightly dangerous monkeys whose aggression I experienced firsthand multiple times after being charged at due to my curiosity. I’d also like to take this time to commemorate and recognize Duder: a dog whose numerous scratches and scars couldn’t hinder the beauty of his soul. This dog stayed with us practically our entire time in Agora, extending his accompaniment on the 7+ hour trek to Dodital spending the cold nights outside our tents protecting us from leopards and such until he was dognapped by some kids. Long live Duder.

Although trash pollution is a prevalent and frankly unattractive issue across India there are well aimed attempts at conserving resources through the use of water in place of toilet paper, and scrap metals recycled by the blacksmith to make his masterpieces many of us are enjoying. There is beauty in repurposing and valuing things.

On one occasion I was enjoying a meal with my host family and as we were making ciapatti together a glowing red coal escaped from its place under the stove and my host mother nonchalantly tossed it back into its correct location as if it were nothing, then laughed at my agape mouth as I stared at her in absolute awe. When touching her hands I could feel the years and years of hard work in their rough, aged texture, the reason she could touch that burning coal with such ease and much more. They might not be stereotypically “pretty” hands but her hands of extreme ability and durability were the most beautiful I have seen in my life. I hope to have hands like hers someday.

During our stay in Agora we were able to experience new life and death very close to our circle within the birth of Suman’s baby cow and the the death of his grandmother. I don’t think I have to explain the beauty in new life but being in this village to experience the process of the end of one with the death of Suman’s grandmother has opened my eyes to its raw beauty. Though losing a loved one so important to the community and brings much grief and sadness, the process of mourning perfectly encompasses the importance one person can mean for the entire village. The Day of Dadi’s death was marked by the constant beating of drums, and a mutual village silence in respect of her absence and the space for family to grieve. There was no music being played, and the kids of the village kept their usual shenanigans low-key amongst a general hush lasting several days. Within the direct family, the men shave their heads to represent a separation from the frivolous matters of fretting over appearance during the time of mourning. Family and friends then gather to burn the body, returning their loved one to the sacred Assi Ganga river which connects to the even more sacred Ganges. Although I wasn’t a part of any ceremonies, I, amongst other uninvolved people felt the sheer power of Dadi’s presence, even though I never had the honor of meeting her, through the spirit of the village. One of the most beautiful things I have had the honor of witnessing.

Of course I also must name the obvious awe provoking scenery. From the minute you walk out of your room in Agora you are blessed with the breathtaking sight of the Himalayas and the valley surrounding the village. I had the privilege and luckily the athleticism to make one of the steepest and difficult hikes of my life to a place called Darwa pass at 4,200 meters high to be blessed with a view possibly comparable toto heaven. The snow capped mountains and clouds practically reaching distance, the fresh, cold, and thin air, and the lack of human evidence made this sight one of the most beautiful of my life and one I will never forget.

Lastly, one of the most prevalent sources of beauty is the children. The children of Agora don’t understand the concept of boredom, finding unlimited ways to entertain themselves with minimal resources. One group of kids in particular I saw playing cricket with a bat-resembling slab of wood on their front patio. There was a complete absence in minding the lack of ideal playing equipment and setting/scenery/area and in place, smiles always occupied their faces. The children and people of Agora alike are always eager to greet us as they pass. Their faces light up with joy as they get to use the English greeting “Hi” accompanied by a prolonged session of waving they most likely learned in school. Their eagerness to interact with us extends to their hospitality, with invitations quickly extended to us strangers to enter their homes for chai. Their friendliness and intense willingness to share connections is unlike any I’ve experienced and one of the most powerful displays of the villages beauty.

Though my list is lengthy, there are unlimited sources of beauty not only in the small village of Agora but in all of India that I am forced to emit due to length purposes. I’m not sure that the people of Agora see the things I’ve described as beauty as it is their norm but I hope that those of you who read this begin to look beyond the confines of physical beauty as I did and search for it everywhere. You might find more than you expect and enjoy a newfound fulfillment within life and the experiences it brings.