By Jackson McGrady

When I learned that I would be going to Guatemala over Thanksgiving break, at first I had mixed emotions. My main concern, even if it sounds silly now, was who was going to be on the trip with me.

Throughout my life, I have struggled with making friends. I have a very black and white view of the world, which is hard for other people to adjust to sometimes. I get angry very easily when people don’t pay attention or aren’t aware of their surroundings. If someone is wrong, they are wrong, and if someone is right, then they’re right. Often, I’ve gotten mad at my closest friends and even at family, which have led them to have a negative view of me. 

After learning who would be going to Guatemala, I worried at first about some of those negative relationships I had with others on the trip. And many times throughout my time in Guatemala, I witnessed things that made me furious. Whether that was not helping prepare a meal, washing dishes, being on a phone during group bonding, or walking into a busy street without looking, each time I would cringe and silently, or sometimes, out of tiredness, voice my frustration to the nearest victim of my anger. 

Something finally clicked in my brain when I yelled at a group member when they seemed to scream on the bus for no reason. Again, I was frustrated and wasn’t able to control myself at the moment. But that experience stuck with me. Over the next few days, I processed this interaction, and came to the conclusion that I would benefit from keeping thoughts to myself more. I needed to be more laid back, and less caught up in outside issues.

I started leaning in to the fact that nothing is perfect- the bus might get stuck in traffic, Ms. Kiland might get hurt, the Wi-Fi might be slow. Just go with the flow. You can’t control everyone and everything. Let other people do what they want. You just worry about what you can do to make your trip fun. Make the most of every opportunity.

I have watched people here in Guatemala navigate their lives with hope and openness rather than anger and judgment. That is a model I want to follow.

This trip to Guatemala has been eye opening to me. I not only learned about a place that was totally foreign to me before landing on this volcanic soil, but about the people and communities and how they all work together. But most important of all, while with my peers here,  I learned about myself in so many different ways.

So, I’ll leave you with this: If you’re caught up in chaos, and lots of stimulation around you, pause. Take a moment to reflect on yourself. A quiet minute is all it takes. Especially with a meaningful view.